Kentucky Trip

August 4-11, 2001

First Person Us

Dad is outside trimming the hedges as we pull into the driveway. We bring in a few things that are not needed to go to Kentucky (including the futon for Mark's 2nd trip to Boston, which ended up falling through), and prepare some crutches for Nikki. Christine goes to the Hac to bring back Nikki (though she still hasn't committed to us yet). Phil hangs out with Mark, Mom, and Dad (in and out with trimming), changes out of wedding clothes, gathers laundry left there to be washed less than two days ago, repacks, and gets a haircut from Mom. Finally Anna calls and Kelly brings her over. At almost exactly the same time as Anna and Kelly arrive, Nikki limps in with Christine. We work with Nikki on the crutches, she is comically slow and timid. We load everything up, talk briefly in the living room with Kelly, and then we're off, Kelly drives home. Phil drives, we drive through Taco Bell, and leave the drive through at 6:00. We talk about Lisa, Kelly's problematic relationship with Ben, and a few other things. Phil drives to the rest stop in Pesotum (Pescrotum...huh-huh-huh-huh), Anna drives the rest! Phil tries to call the Wrights, but one phone in the rest area is broken and the other has a guy chatting endlessly on it, so we go.

Fun car conversation: Breast area, Dollywood, Breast Awareness. We read old Loaded Questions responses, then attempt to play without writing answers down. (There's a reason the game uses written answers. Actually, several reasons.) As we near the bottom of Illinois, it is still light, and we see an enormous cross where a church is to be built. We get into Kentucky and to Pam and Dave's about 10:30, Ginny and Dave are asleep already. We hang out with Matt (our only night to do so) and Pam, and eat leftover barbecue from their 30th wedding anniversary party earlier in the day. Fun time, Anna and Matt really hit it off. We discover that we will be staying at Dave's parents old house (will be referred to as "our place"), which is unoccupied, and is about a mile and a half from the Wrights. Matt takes us over there; it's pretty sweet to get a whole house to ourselves (Phil is getting used to this), but the air conditioning is broken, so it is 90? in there. Matt uses his cell phone to call Dave, who instructs him on how to change the fuses, something we come to be very familiar with over the next few days. Matt leaves, and leaves us a cell phone to use. Christine wants to get some snacks, so we go with Anna to Wal-Mart and grab some goodies. We have told Anna and Nikki that because of the money we got from Nana, we will be able to pay for everything on the whole trip, within reason. We come back and go to bed after 3:00.

Sunday morning, we (A,C,P) get up and go to church for the 10:30 service, sitting in the balcony (like last year!). Anna and Matt rib each other with notes before the service. The service concludes with everyone holding hands and singing "Blest Be the Tie that Binds." Phil comments that we needed to connect the balcony with the main floor by having people hang over the edge holding hands (Christine: "like a Barrel of Monkeys!"). We pick up Nikki, go back to Pam and Dave's and eat more leftover barbecue (mmm...). When asked where Mark is right now, Phil responds, "Mark is currently residing in Anna's mind." We show Matt Andy's Revenge, then he leaves (not as a result of the video) to go back to school as the photo editor at DePauw. Then we drive to the lake. In the car, we hear "Woof, Woof" on Jock Jams; Anna: "That's what I was like when I met Matt." We go on the boat, Christine swims, we play frisbee, Ginny tells us the story of catfish "as big as a bus," immediately refuted by Dave. Anna and Phil ride the tube, Anna gets stuck. We boat back to the shore. Phil wishes he had some recording device (camera, video, ANYTHING!!) to get a picture of Anna and Nikki holding hands as Anna helps her cross a wooden bridge made of boards. The picture could have been used with an inspirational caption and mass-marketed, but certainly would be an all-time great image for anyone who knows them. We eat dinner at Majestic, Nikki and Phil split a pizza, Anna and Christine get the buffet. We are at a table surrounded completely by families with inordinate amounts of children of all ages ("Fertile land down here.") We go back to Pam and Dave's and Phil videos everyone with the TV displaying the live shots (video). Pam stays up and talks for a long time with us, then we head back to our place not too late and have to call Dave to be instructed how to fix the AC again. Here we stay up talking. In the kitchen, we talk about Nikki and Pat getting hooked up (see Labor Day). Later we move to Nikki's room, where Anna discloses that as a kid she had thought that talking about sex was "oral sex." Also about Lisa: "She should have been raised with different...chromosomes." We go to bed around 3.

Monday, we sleep >til 12:30. Phil goes running in the super-hot weather. Planning to end up at Pam & Dave's, he stops off at our place to get a drink before trudging back. Anna and Christine get McDonald's and take it to Nikki at our place. Nikki stays there to read. Phil gets to Pam and Dave's, eats, and talks a bit with Ginny (she asks for prayers for James). Anna and Christine arrive at Pam and Dave's, Phil showers. The four of us go to the Y. Ginny gets a massage, Phil lifts, Anna and Christine swim. Phil comes to swim after lifting, Christine had been teaching Anna some strokes. Phil takes over the teaching so Christine can swim. Anna learns "froggy style," trouble with water getting up her nose. Ginny comes back, a few of us go to the hot tub. We pick up Nikki, Christine has no underwear**? as we head back to Pam and Dave's. We eat chicken, beans, and great corn on the cob. We stay there, watch Golden Girls, make phone calls to Mindy and to Carol. We return some videos (think we see a sign for "Lean Dick," but it was actually "Leon Dick") and return to our place. We decide not to go to Wal-Mart to get ingredients for making cookies, Phil pops in a pizza. We talk in the living room, Anna is the first to bed. Then Nikki and Christine read, we go to bed around 3 again.

Tuesday, Anna takes Nikki to the doctor. We get up at 12:30 again; Anna and Phil go to Subway and Taco John's, bring food to Nikki and Christine, who are reading Lord of the Rings. Anna and Phil go to Pam and Dave's, hang out with Pam and Ginny. Plans for the day are tossed around endlessly, to the point where we do nothing. While it was alright just hanging out, we spend the day watching Ginny's crappy TV shows. We watch Animal Planet and see activists who travel the globe to rescue "mistreated" animals. Phil is infuriated, wondering, "What about all the mistreated PEOPLE!? Human beings!" We also watch "Trading Spaces," another loser show (Phil: "Oh, oh, it's wonderful! Oh, it's so beautiful ...you moved the couch!") The highlight of the afternoon was when we went to the porch to get the mail. Finally Dave comes back, Anna and Phil go get Nikki and Christine, we go eat at Los Amigos. Pam and Dave tell stories of their wedding and honeymoon, and Mom&Dad's wedding. We go to the cemetery to see the crazy elaborate grave for some guy. We also hear an auction somewhere in the distance just after Pam had told us they have auctions all the time in Kentucky. We go back to Pam and Dave's, Pam makes Peach preserves, we watch Legend. Phil makes fun of it, then (after annoying the girls who wanted to watch it) leaves to go do email. After the movie, Anna and Phil go get Sonic, then an anniversary card for Pam and Dave (today is their anniv.) Meanwhile, Pam, Ginny, Nikki, and Christine have an elaborate ADD conversation. We show Pam and Ginny The Bagelwich Project, then head back to our place. Christine washes Anna's hair (video), then we go to bed.

Wednesday, we get up at 8, pack up, go to Big Kmart around 9 to get a prescription for Christine from Pam, say goodbye, she gives us a note. We go to McDonald's for breakfast, but Nikki is denied breakfast as they tell us they can't make a breakfast burrito without cheese (Ray A. "What A" Kroc). Then we drive across the state of Kentucky (video). Lots of curves on the road leads to a discussion of "lots of curves" in the car. Nikki: "Most of them on Phil and his ample bosom." Some of the church names here are unbelievable; we pass "Blood River Baptist Church." We eat at Shoney's in Bowling Green, Anna negotiates a scary intersection, then decides she'll take a break from driving. Christine yet again attempts to set up a Doctor's appointment at UIC, it is unsuccessful (she ends up going to Dr. Horng at home.) Back on the road, Christine demands to hear Tom Petty. Phil looks, but there is no Tom Petty, leading to a brief tiff. Later we stop by a Kmart to go to the bathroom, the bathrooms are way in the back, so Nikki is wheelchaired to and from the bathrooms. Phil buys a phonecard at Kmart and calls Carol, letting her know we'd be late. ("Carol has a hard time masking her disappointment.") We get to Carol's at 7:45 and eat dinner: Ham, fresh bread, strawberry cake. We talk a lot about the Grizzard family, hopefully not boring Nikki and Anna too much. We go to bed pretty early, Phil has trouble breathing (and thus sleeping) due to the cat.

Thursday, we get up at 12:30 and eat leftovers. Anna has nicknamed the cat "Uether Vandross." ("That cat is not very friendly...but it did come on my head this morning.") We (ACP) go with Carol to Walmart. Christine not feeling good, so we come back and drop off Christine, then tour Pikeville (video). Carol to Anna: "You know, that hot guy..." Anna (raising eyebrows): "Yeah." Carol: "I meant he was sweaty." Anna (trying to recover): "Oh, yeah...hot and sweaty." They tour the town and the college, go to the lookout point, and see fancy houses. Meanwhile at Carol's, Uether sits on Nikki's lap. Naturally, she tries to pet him. He hisses and shows his fangs. But, he won't move off her lap. So Christine hisses at him louder, but he won't budge. Then she tries food; she successfully gets him to eat out of her hand, but it's not until Nikki moves her leg that he finally leaves her lap. We reconvene, and go to dinner at Chirico's, an Italian place downtown. Phil orders a salad and a calzone to go, as he won't eat it until after his run (he hasn't run since Monday). Carol tells the stories about Paul crashing her car and the interim pastor from Hell. Carol leaves for her church meeting, we all go back to Carol's, Phil takes the car to the Pikeville track to run. Anna goes for a walk and gets chased by a dog. Nikki and Christine read (Christine is on Two Towers), Nikki notices her clothes that Carol washed are pink. Christine stays positive and successfully helps to un-pink Nikki's clothes. Anna comes back, then Carol comes back, then Phil comes back and wolfs down his calzone, then we go to Dairy Cheer. At Dairy Cheer, Carol tells about how last time they were here, she introduced Phil and Christine as her Nephew and Niece. We talk about setting up Nikki and Pat, and Anna and Mark. We come back and show Carol Andy's Revenge and the Pikeville video. We talk, Carol goes to bed, then we four stay up late talking, first in the living room, then in the kitchen. We revisit Anna's honeymoon comment, and she says, "I didn't think about it in the context of marriage." Nikki, Christine, and Phil spend a few minutes milking the "honeymoon road trip" joke at Anna's expense (Bride on the CB to the groom in the other vehicle: "I'll share my fries with you at the next stop.") We also joke about having a beach party at our apartment complete with volleyball, sand, and a sprinkler ("the world's worst tenants"). Christine needs to lie down, so she goes to read. Nikki, Anna, and Phil talk late about deep, funny stuffCjuicy details about ex's, especially Anna's. Anna brings back her "barren desert wasteland" analogy and makes an "acid rain" analogy. Referring to Nikki's comment that Anna knows more about sex than her, Phil says "Anna has had the advantage of the third-party perspective." (Referring to certain television programs Anna has watched.) Nikki doesn't get the reference: "You watched somebody?...Somebody watched you?" Anna likens Eric to a Buffalo and perfects the Rich shiver, earning her new nickname "Shiver." We all finally go to bed after 4:30.

Friday, Phil gets up before everyone else (except Carol), leaves money for pizza, then goes running through Pikeville. We eat Little Caesar's (and they throw away the rest of Nikki's!), pack up, take pictures, and leave at 2:45. We stop by the tourism center and pick up Hatfield-McCoy shirtsCtwo of each, so we're ready for Halloween. Phil drives and we're trying to make good time to meet Mindy in Louisville by 6:00. Unfortunately, we get stuck behind a school bus, and of course can never pass it. Eventually the bus turns off, and we take off. We played Anna's DC Talk CD. Nikki says, "I want to hear Tom Petty!" referring to the earlier tiff between Phil and Christine. We pass another unbelievable church name: "Burning Fork Community Church." Also, we notice substantially slanted graveyards above the road, and we joke that it is a "Falling Corpse Zone." We take a quick pit stop (video) just as it's about to rain, so the weather is getting funky in the mountains. After thinking we would be ridiculously late, we arrive at KT's in Louisville (recommended and directed by Carol) at 6:30--not too bad. Better yet, Mindy and her folks haven't even arrived yet; they come in a few minutes after we do. We eat with them, Mindy talks about her job at the bookstore. Mindy's dad tells Phil about some of the lower-class people in rural Illinois, including alcoholism. Christine drives out of Louisville, the bridge we drive over is shabbily covered with what looks like blankets (video). On the drive, we play Jock Jams and summarize our trip, reminiscing about events and quotes and our nicknames; Phil writes down all the excruciating details (can you tell?). Also, the song "I'm going hungry" comes on the radio, Phil says he loves this song but it's not on any of Pearl Jam's albums. Nikki explains that the song was done as the group "Temple of the Dog," and that Soundgarden's Chris Cornell is the background voice with Eddie Vedder. (Phil orders the CD on Half.com and has it 2 weeks later.)

Back in Illinois, we exit at Downs and head straight to the Palace to see Rush Hour 2 that starts at 11:30. We get to the Palace at 11:30, rush in, and stand in line for several minutes. The line is not moving, so finally we ask and we've been standing in the American Pie 2 line. We immediately get tickets and get into the movie still during the previews. (Yes!) Nikki and Christine missed the Lord of the Rings preview, however (oh well). Phil sees Geoff Skinner afterwards, talks briefly. We drop off Anna and say goodbye. (Phil was a little disappointed because he had thought that we were all going to crash at the Hac as a "last night" of the trip, but Anna needed to go to sleep). Then we go to the gas station to get some food. Phil and Christine stay over at the Hacienda, Nikki finds that she has gotten a letter from ISU telling her that all her classes have been dropped. She is very upset by this, Phil and Christine help her plan ways to resolve this and tell her not to worry. (It turns out that the letter was sent by mistakeCher classes had not been dropped, so not worrying was, again, sound advice ?). Phil and Christine both get on the new Hac DSL on different computers at the same time. The three of us talk and watch old Saturday Night Live reruns; Nikki changes her bandage. Phil plans to take Nikki to the doctor to get her stitches removed at 9am. Phil and Christine go to sleep, in Nikki's bed, around 4.

Saturday, Jeanna takes Nikki to the doctor (so Phil sleeps in!), she gets her stitches out. Phil and Christine pack up and go to Arby's with Nikki and Anna, who are heading to Princeton. Phil gives a "last swipe" for Nikki's gas. At Arby's, we talk a lot about movies: Star Wars, AI, and Clockwork Orange. After hanging out for awhile, we all say goodbye. What a long, strange trip it's been.

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